The 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

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The 5 questions most feared by men are 1 What are you thinking about 2 Do you love me 3 Do I look fat 4 Do you think she is prettier than me 5 What would you do if I died br br What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly(i e tells the truth) br br As a public service each question is analyzed below along with possible Responses br br Question 1 What are you thinking about br br The proper answer to this of course is I m sorry if I ve been pensive dear I was just reflecting on what a warm wonderful thoughtful caring intelligent woman you are and how lucky I am to have met you This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer which most likely is one of the following a Baseball b Football c How fat you are d How much prettier she is than you e How I would spend the insurance money if you died br br Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy who once told Peg If I wanted you to know what I was thinking I would be talking to you! br br Question 2 Do you love me br br The proper response is YES! or if you feel a more detailed answer is in order Yes dear Inappropriate responses include a Oh Yeah crap loads b Would it make you feel better if I said yes c That depends on what you mean by love d Does it matter e Who me br br Question 3 Do I look fat br br The correct answer is an emphatic Of course not! Among the incorrect answers are a Compared to what b I wouldn t call you fat but you re not exactly thin c A little extra weight looks good on you d I ve seen fatter e Could you repeat the question I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died br br Question 4 Do you think she s prettier than me br br Once again the proper response is an emphatic Of course not! Incorrect responses include br br a Yes but you have a better personality b Not prettier but definitely thinner c Not as pretty as you when you were her age d Define pretty e Could you repeat the question I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died br br Question 5 What would you do if I died br br A definite no-win question (The real answer of course is Buy a Corvette and a Boat ) WARNING No matter how you answer this be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions usually along the these lines br br WOMAN Would you get married again MAN Definitely not! WOMAN Why not-don t you like being married MAN Of course I do WOMAN Then why wouldn t you remarry MAN Okay I d get married again WOMAN You would (with a hurtful look on her face) WOMAN Would you sleep with her in our bed MAN Where else would we sleep WOMAN Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of her MAN That would seem like the proper thing to do WOMAN And would you let her use my golf clubs MAN She can t use them she s left-handed WOMAN - - - silence - - - MAN Oh ( expletive deleted)

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