Business Rules to Live By

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If you can t get your work done in the first 24 hours work nights br br A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt br br Don t be irreplaceable if you can t be replaced you can t be promoted br br It doesn t matter what you do it only matters what you say you ve done and what you re going to do br br After any salary raise you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before br br The more crap you put up with the more crap you are going to get br br You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard br br Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day br br When the bosses talk about improving productivity they are never talking about themselves br br If at first you don t succeed try again Then quit No use being a damn fool about it br br There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office br br Keep your boss s boss off your boss s back br br Everything can be filed under miscellaneous br br Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour br br To err is human to forgive is not our policy br br Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn t the work he she is supposed to be doing br br Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail br br If you are good you will be assigned all the work If you are really good you will get out of it br br You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk br br People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn t br br If it wasn t for the last minute nothing would get done br br At work the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying br br When you don t know what to do walk fast and look worried br br Following the rules will not get the job done br br Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules br br When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question How would the Lone Ranger handle this br br No matter how much you do you never do enough br br The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong

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