To my Dear

<< previouse joke | random joke | next joke >>

To my dear wife br br During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times I have succeeded 36 times which is an average of once every ten days The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often br br 54 times the sheets were clean br 17 times it was too late br 49 times you were too tired br 20 times it was too hot br 15 times you pretended to be asleep br 22 times you had a headache br 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby br 16 times you said you were too sore br 12 times it was the wrong time of the month br 19 times you had to get up early br 9 times you said weren t in the mood br 7 times you were sunburned br 6 times you were watching the late show br 5 times you didn t want to muss your new hairdo br 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us br 9 times you said your mother would hear us br br Of the 36 times I did succeed the activity was not satisfactory because br br 6 times you just laid there br 8 times you reminded me that there s a crack in the ceiling br 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with br 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I had finished br 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move br br br To my dear husband br br I think you have things a little confused Here are the reasons you didn t get more than you did br br 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat br 36 times you did not come home at all br 21 times you didn t come br 33 times you came too soon br 19 times you went soft before you got in br 38 times you worked too late br 10 times you got cramps in your toes br 29 times you had to get up early to play golf br 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls br 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper br 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running br 2 times you had a splinter in your finger br 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day br 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book br 98 times you were too busy watching sports on t v br br Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets I wasn t talking about the crack in the ceiling br br What I said was Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling br br The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe

Send link 2 friend | Permalink

Rating: